He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm too high and old for this...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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