Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Randomize
