So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
this will be a night to untag.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
