thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
