So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
