so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
