dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
