Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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