I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
