I don't think brook has ever known best
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize