I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
