If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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