So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
