so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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