i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
