You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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