the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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