he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
