Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
