We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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