Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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