my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She needs sedatives and a leash
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
