Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize