Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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