So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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