i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
