Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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