If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
