the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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