Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
