Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
