Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize