We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
