Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize