I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I just put wine in my tea
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
