Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
