after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
