the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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