I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
so much tequila, so little girl.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
