i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
