Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
