Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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