i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My bed smells like the plague
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
