You made me cry and you don't even care
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Congratulations! We have a period
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
