i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
