i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
