I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
