...so i touched it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
