We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize