who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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