I'm sorry my penis didn't work
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
