You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
