why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
