so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
