your thong is hanging out like whoa
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
