My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
