Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
