My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize